2024 Pop Culture Predictions
What antics will the celebrities of the world get up to next year?
When the world is crumbling around us, it’s necessary to focus on the important things. To me, pop culture ranks high on that list. Pop culture keeps me entertained, makes my day pass by, and fuels me with unrelated and far away drama. My days are spent lamenting the job I don’t like, doing an hour of yoga, staring at my cat Hoagie, texting my friends and family, and thinking about celebrities. My Google search history is filled with questions like, how tall is Jacob Elordi and what province in France is Timothee Chalamet’s family from and how old was Emma Thompson when she divorced Kenneth Branagh. I’m a feen for celebrity gossip, drama, information.
So, I think I’m extremely well suited to make pop culture predictions for 2024. Who will get divorced? Which male celebrity will get cancelled? What albums will come out? And who will shine brightest at the Met Gala? Well, buckle up Reader. Because I have made some big predictions.
2023 was the year of celebrity breakups. We watched as Cardi B and Offset, Joe Jonas and Queen of the North, Sophie Turner, Ariana Madix and the scum of the Earth who I will not name, Meryl Streep and longtime husband Don Gummer, sexy couple Jodie Turner-Smith and Joshua Jackson, pop icon Britney Spears and nobody Sam Asghari, Hugh Jackman and his Aussie wife Deborra-lee Jackman, former New York City mayor and giant Bill de Blasio and wife Chirlane McCray, lifelong bombshell Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello, and Time’s Person of the Year Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn called it quits. 2023 was not for lovers.
And I predict that 2024 will carry the torch through the first quarter. A couple we know very little about will end. Yes, Reader, I’m predicting that Oprah and Stedman will breakup. Maybe Stedman is sick and tired of Oprah being so out of touch, maybe Oprah has finally realized she should date Gale. Either way the two will be over and Oprah will no longer have a shadow lurking behind her.
Speaking of shadows looming over, Greta Gerwig’s shadow is that she has not yet won an Oscar. Which feels like a personal crime against me. How Lady Bird did not win all the awards in 2018 is not only deeply offensive but unbelievable as it was the best film of the last 10 years. But, 2023 was the year of Barbie. It was a blockbuster hit, in every ad possible, and featured the world’s biggest stars. And because of all that, in 2024, Greta will finally win her Oscar.
The Oscars always stir up a lot of drama, and 2024 will be no different. While Greta will surely win her first Oscar, the Academy will once again snub our queen, Beyoncé. She’ll be nominated for best documentary, but will lose out to some boring movie about rural America or another war. Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé deserves an Oscar and Beyoncé deserves an EGOT, but unfortunately the Beyhive will be disappointed once again.
The other pop queens of 2023 will join forces next year. SZA, the most nominated artist of the 2024 Grammys, will release a song with our fashion queen and mother, Rihanna. The song will be sexy, smooth, and allow the girls to shake our asses off on sweaty Brooklyn dance floors. This will continue SZA’s career rise and be the beginning of Rihanna’s comeback to pop music. I really hope this prediction is right, because I can’t go another year on this earth without new music from Rihanna.
BadGal always steals the show at the Met Gala. She usually arrives hours late and wears an outrageously large gown. But since this year’s theme is Sleeping Beauty: Reawakening Fashion, I think Riri will skip the Met steps for a much needed night in. Instead, I predict fashion newcomer Rachel Zegler to win the Met Gala. She has a million haters even though she’s only been in like two movies, so she’s desperate to prove herself. She’s been cast as the next Snow White, so she already has a princess vibe going. And, she is gorgeous. I picture a Belle-esque gown and some magical tricks to dazzle Anna Wintour.
This year’s it-girl is Ayo Edebiri. She’s starred in what feels like everything. She captivated us in the second season of The Bear, wrote her own comedy film Bottoms, and was a cheeky side character in Theater Camp. She made me realize one of my own life goals by throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game in her hometown. And next year, she will start dating 2023’s it-boy. Yes, Reader, I mean Jacob Elordi. Can’t you imagine those two walking down New York streets holding hands. Jacob wearing a slutty little bag and Ayo in her iconic Uniqlo wide leg jeans. Jacob’s proved to be goofy and a lover of pop culture and there’s no one goofier or more imbedded in pop culture than our girl, Ayo.
While Ayo will have an incredible 2024, her chef, I mean, costar Jeremy Allen White will face controversy. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love this man. He is dirty and so hot while being small and a little menacing. I’ve loved him since he starred as Lip Gallagher, and I’ll always have a soft spot for him. But a white man can’t be in the limelight for this long without controversies stirring about him. That’s why I think Jeremy Allen White will be cancelled in 2024. Maybe for his messy relationship with his ex wife. Maybe for a mistimed Instagram post. Maybe for a weird red carpet appearance. I just have this nagging feeling he’s going to stumble. But don’t worry fans of Jeremy Allen White, being cancelled isn’t even a real thing. He’ll be back before we know it.
Two stars who know about being cancelled will collaborate to increase their net worths next year. Kim Kardashian and Emma Chamberlain will come together and create underwear to don while making morning coffee. Ads for Skims x Chamberlain Coffee featuring Emma and Kim hugging and sipping some matcha will be plastered on billboards across Los Angeles. Because these two have a combined 380 million Instagram followers, the campaign will be a success and they will make millions that their accountants will track for them.
Another star that will find success next year is Alexis Bledel. We all know that it’s time for her to make her triumphant comeback. For seven seasons, she starred as Rory Gilmore and by doing that, she changed television forever. But since then, I’ve missed her on my screen. Sure, she fell in love with a Greek hottie in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies and traumatized us all in The Handmaid’s Tale. But we need her in a leading role, a rom com even, to tide us over. And 2024 will be the year she returns to the big screen!
My last but very much not least pop culture prediction is a juicy one. Many of you have heard rumblings and I am hoping we see this relationship come to fruition. As I mentioned earlier, Hugh Jackman divorced his longtime wife Deborra-lee Jackman. Before his divorce was publicly announced, he went to the Kansas City Chiefs game with Taylor Swift and Ryan Reynolds. Many celebrities were in the box, including Queer Eye’s food guy, Antoni Porowski. I remember looking at photos and thinking, that’s weird. Why is Antoni at the Chiefs game? I know Taylor is friends with Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, who is friends with Hugh. So him attending the game felt in the realm of normalcy. But Antoni caught my eye. Do Taylor and Antoni have a secret friendship the world doesn’t know about? No, Reader, Taylor appeared to have just been doing Hugh a solid and invited his boy toy to the game. Because it’s rumored that Hugh and Antoni are dating. And my prediction is that they will rush into an engagement next year. And how fun would that be! The world deserves to see these two gorgeous men in a loving, albeit fast moving, relationship. Come on Antoni! Pop the question!
There you have it Reader. Those are my pop culture predictions for 2024. I’m sure next year will give us scandal, new celebrity couples, divorces, collaborations, cancellations, and juicy, juicy drama. Rest up over the next few weeks, because we have a big year ahead. And if you so please, drop your pop culture predictions into the comments below.