Emergency newsletter - I went viral on TikTok for sitting in shit on the subway

Thank you for all the likes and love

✨✨ This post is brought to you by Nuuly. Use code TESSWORSTDAY for $28 off subscription costs - new subscriptions only, expires 1/1/26✨✨

On Saturday morning, as I sat on my couch scrolling TikTok, I came across a video that made me giggle out of control. It was a story of a girl who put olive oil in her hair and wrapped it with Saran Wrap. The story devolves into something I would’ve never expected and I was gleeful, giddy even as I read it. I thought, hmm, this is a great format for my subway shit story.

For those new to Please Read Me, you don’t know the subway shit story. But last October, I sat in human shit on the W train. It changed my life forever. I’ll never be as clueless on public transit again and I will always, always, ALWAYS look before I sit down. So, inspired by Megan Chacalos - aka olive oil girl, I created the now viral TikTok. I used a choir version of the song Like A Prayer, a meme of Pepe the King Prawn from the Muppets, and told my story in 30 slides. And that was it. I posted it and put my phone down as I ran errands around my neighborhood.

As of today, Monday, December 9th at 2:51 PM, the video has 1.2 million likes, 9,609 comments, 73,700 saves, and has been viewed a truly astonishing 7.8 million times. This itched a scratch of TikTokers around the world. And while I’m shocked by the numbers, I’ve always thought this is the story that would make me known. I knew it the moment I sat in the shit. The second I started yelling at strangers. Running down 5th Ave with my hands in the air felt like I was moving in slow motion, trying to remember every single moment of this horrible afternoon.

The response has been hilarious and overwhelming. Every time I open TikTok, there are 99+ more likes and comments and hundreds of people following me. And the reactions are all over the place. A lot of people feel bad for me and are horrified that I sat in another human’s shit. Others are judgmental of me for not looking before I sat. There is a fair amount of outrage at me for returning the jeans after I washed them, of which all I can say is I was in no mindset to make a better decision than the one I made. And far, far too many are confused about the concept of renting clothes.

Apparently, the world has yet to learn of the magic that is Nuuly, my preferred clothing rental company. They have not learned that monthly, you can choose six items from really good brands. They don’t understand that the clothes just show up at your house in a cute little reusable bag and you get to keep them for a month. I’ve used Nuuly for three years and there is no slowing me down. I am so excited every month when I get to choose all my new outfits. The shit pants didn’t make me stop renting, they only made more excited to get a new haul!

Maybe I should have expected these reactions. The people calling me a transplant and selfish for yelling at my fellow subway riders. The thousands of new followers. The love from other girlies that would have reacted to the shit pants in the exact same way that I did. The random texts from cousins and college friends asking, “Is this you?"

I’m still in the midst of all this. It’ll slow down soon and people will focus on the next trend, but going viral is crazy. I feel important? Like people finally want to listen to what I have to say? But at the same time, I know all of this is nonsense and not actually real. I’m getting a blip of the online validation that influencers get every day and I feel insane. I’m stuck on my phone, constantly refreshing the comments and like count. Every time someone shares a video with me in response to my TikTok, I open it immediately. I’m obsessed with my own videos, with everyone’s perception of me.

I am the shit pants girl. The girl who unwittingly sat in a pile of human feces on the W train heading downtown. The girl who FaceTimed her mom and her best friend looking for any advice on how to proceed. The girl who ran down 5th Ave screaming that she hated New York while simultaneously sobbing with shit smeared on her ass. The girl who burst through the doors of the Flatiron lululemon begging for new pants. The girl who got 75% off a pair of leggings after sitting in shit. The girl who washed the jeans, made sure they were clean, and returned them to Nuuly.

I went viral for sitting in shit on the subway. So dear Reader, I hope the worst day of your life makes as many people laugh as mine did.

If you aren’t ready to become a paid subscriber, but enjoy my work and you have the capacity to leave a tip, I’d love you forever.

For those catching up….