The anti-partying epidemic

My thoughts on The Atlantic's iconic essay "Americans Need to Party More"

Me partying on my 29th birthday. Photo: My camera roll.

I can’t stop thinking about the Atlantic article Americans Need to Party More by Ellen Cushing. With every free thought, my brain circles back to the depressing statistics littered throughout it, masterfully showing how boring Americans have become.

Growing up, I myself was a partier. Maybe it was the Catholic identity, one that always encouraged wine, but my friends and I were in constant search of a good time. We threw house parties at empty homes, designated drivers to take us to parties deep in the suburbs, and drank in far too many basements to count. And I wasn’t doing this in a silo. My brother partied, my cousins partied. One of the most popular movies of my youth was Project X, a plot simply about a crazy party. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized this wasn’t the normal high school experience.

There, I met girls who were brand new to socializing, nervous to enter a frat house, and tracking each and every one of their drinks. It was refreshing and also empowering to be the one in the know. In college, I found friends to party with and have continued that energy into my adulthood. And thank god. Because New York is a great place to have a good time. My best friends love a party. Zoe and I host an annual themed birthday party, my friends Mary and Molly got us all together for a witchy Halloween soiree last fall, and Zoe threw one hell of a friendsgiving in November. I thought this was normal for a friend group. But after reading The Atlantic article, I fear we are the outlier.

“Only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023,” Cushing writes.

This stopped me in my tracks. 4.1%?? That’s only 1.4 million people. Only 1.4 million people party on an average weekend. [Editor’s note - I gorgeously got the math wrong. 4.1% of the US population is actually 14 million. I still think that is too little people partying.] That is a depressing statistic. But it actually shouldn’t have surprised me. My TikTok is a steady stream of girls in their twenties choosing to stay home on a regular Friday night instead of dancing at the bars, of Gen-Z creators exposing their friends for continually cancelling on plans, claiming they are servicing their mental health. We’ve forgotten that being out in the world, dancing at clubs, and socializing with acquaintances is actually very fun.

And of course, so much of this has to do with social media. Not just the obvious reasons - the deep silos, falsifying closeness online. No, this is also because of the performance piece of social media. The pressure to throw an aesthetically pleasing party, to attend the right bars, to dress in perfect clothes overpowers the desire to just socialize. It paralyzes young Americans and forces them back into their homes, alone.

I’d be remiss not to mention The Economy TM. Young Americans are broke and overworked. Even a beer out with friends seems to break the bank. And when budgets are tight, the first thing to go is partying. I get it! I too - until September 14 - am a broke twenty something. But my friends are my life and without fun, without socializing, my life would be bleak.

Thoughts from the group chat. Photo: Screenshot.

Cushing recommends committing to hosting two parties a year. And these parties don’t have to be at your home, they just have to include six or more people. And I think we can do that. Collectively as Americans, this is probably the only problem we can fix. So, let’s come together and do what Americans do best. Party.

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